A spy overhears an audio conversation between Queen Palmeria and her sister, Duchess Blibelle, about an upcoming event.
BEGINNING OF TRANSCRIPT
[receiver clangs]
Blibelle: Oh. Oh, fucking finally. Palmy. About damn time.
Palmeria: [interpreter] Hello, little sister.
B: Ew. Is that Yovi’s brat?
P: [interpreter] Yes, my interpreter is our niece. She has a name, you know. Say hello, Actalle.
Actalle: Oh-oh. What? Oh! H-hello, Duchess Blibelle!
B: Yeah. Hi. Fuck off. I’ve got some shit I need to say to my bitch sister.
A: Wha–urgh…
B: Kids. So stupid.
P: [interpreter] Language, dear. You’re speaking to your family.
B: I think my language is pretty warranted, I’ve kind of got a catastrophe on my hands here. Yovi signed a contract.
[silence]
[footsteps receding]
[silence]
P: [self] You’re right, I can feel it. Well. Now how could he have managed that? I thought for sure your commands were strong enough to stick.
B: Oh, sure, just blame it all on me! You know my commands stick, you bitch. And even if they didn’t, your guard dogs shouldn’t have left him alone for a minute!
P: Wait, I’m confused. What exactly happened?
B: Your Champions convinced him to sign up as a judge for the Battle of the Bands happening here.
P: They did? But you said you explicitly forbade him in order to prevent this exact occurrence. And his guards are supposedly the best on the Isle, Orit swears by them. How did the Champions even get to him?
B: That’s the problem, I don’t fucking know! Aren’t these Champions supposed to be loyal to you?
P: They…are supposed to be. Until this exact moment, I was under the impression that they were.
B: Right. Well, what kind of loyal Champions break a Lesser out of your control? The last time a break like this happened, didn’t you scare the shit out of Daytoni with the whole shutdown and curfew? While your Champions were, what, knocked out in the woods somewhere? Some heroes. Releasing those rats into my streets, and you won’t even let me deal with the problem.
P: That’s hardly–
B: And you send these same dipshits to fix MY city, under MY nose, despite knowing that I already have a plan to repair Treble Town. Fucking bitch.
P: I sent them there believing they would either work beside you or fail and return to me begging for my mercy. Not to usurp you. And besides, you may be Duchess, but that city is still full of my citizens, and your loyalty is to me. I have stayed out of it until recent events, when it’s become clear that you’re not as capable as I once believed. Dearest Blibelle, contrary to what you might think, everything is not always about you.
B: Oh, sure. And it’s not all about you either.
P: Pantheons, you’re such a child.
B: Bold words from a princess only playing as a–agh!
P: Enough. Be cautious in how you speak to me, my dearest sister.
B: [pained yelp]
[receiver clatters against desk]
P: You know I would do anything for you, yes? I’ve proven that before, and would gladly prove it again–but if you continue to disrespect me, you will find that I can just as easily take away your toy privileges as I would bestow them. Are we understood?
B: [struggling to speak] P-point made, sister. [gasp for air] Hh...how fitting that you call a god a toy…
P: [sniffs] Regardless, the update with our brother is concerning. He was supposed to be on his way back to the Isle already, we need his eyes back in Rembrant. I…I don’t understand how he was able to sign it. We need to stop this.
B: I’m aware of that, thanks. But unfortunately we signed a participation contract. Yovi and I have no way of getting out of–
P: Wait. “We?”
B: [grumbles] Yes. I…[mumbles]
P: Speak up, dear.
B: Ididn’treadthroughbeforesigning.
P: Slower?
B: You heard me. I wouldn’t have signed if I knew he’d signed too!
P: [chuckles] Well, I’m afraid I can’t do anything about your stupidity.
B: Gah! This entire thing could have been avoided if you’d just given me temporary use of Deal like I asked!
P: You know it’s not that simple.
B: Fine, then enlighten me. Y’know, since I’m so stupid and all.
P: I understand why you want it, I do. It’s an incredible power, and an easy solution to a complicated problem. But–
B: All due–actually, no due respect–but you’ve just suffered the biggest threat to Pelyle interests since the Hoodwin brat fiasco. You really want to fight me on me trying to fix things in this nightmare city you stuck me in charge of?
P: I… You make a fair point. But it’s still going to have to wait.
B: Why?
P: I can’t just make changes like that. You know I need to go through the proper channels, which means–
B: [labored groan]
P: Indeed. And Aranacia’s been on the warpath since the Melee, so the chances of her giving me your contract without a hissy fit are slim to none. I’ll send the paperwork, but knowing my esteemed “colleague”, she won’t even look at any paperwork until she’s in a better mood.
B: True. Bank Day’s just around the corner.
P: With luck, I should have your Revision done a few days afterwards.
B: Guh, thank Mezzo. I need to stop the decay of this city before it breaches Chime. I’ll do what’s necessary, I swear it.
[silence]
P: I… Ah. Nevermind. I’m sure you will.
B: You should use your own voice less, nothing useful comes out of it.
P: Speaking of voices. The Battle of the Bands should be an amusing side effect of my Champions’ task–the posters have already reached Daytoni. And the prize is incredibly valuable, the ability to make the loser do any one thing asked of them by the victor? It’s bound by a contract, making it almost limitless in use. I trust you’re not going to put yourself in a position similar to Yovi and make me regret trusting you, correct?
B: Of course not. What do you take me for?
P: Hm. Break a leg.
B: I intend to.
[receiver drops]
END OF TRANSCRIPT